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My getting hideously drunk on a Friday afternoon has nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day.
I’m not wearing green today because I have a pinching fetish.
Not wearing green today simply means you hate Christ or possibly wearing green.
This is the one holiday where our full-blown alcoholism could possibly go undetected.
Seeing St. Patrick’s Day parades outside makes me actually appreciate being stuck inside with my coworkers.
The only Catholic announcements I’m interested in this week are St. Patrick’s Day bar specials.
Remember not to ruin your St. Patrick’s Day by reading or watching anything related to the history of Ireland.
I refuse to be told what color to wear unless it’s by pretty much any fashion magazine.
Let’s remember to make out before we vomit.
I’m respectfully devoting the day after St. Patrick’s Day to eating Lucky Charms in my underwear.
It saddens me to think this may be the first St. Patrick’s Day I won’t be urinating in public with you.
Save money this St. Patrick’s Day by passing out as fast as humanly possible.
May Siri be able to decipher your slurred requests for bar locations this St. Patrick’s Day.
I’m starting a drunken brawl with the first person today who stereotypes the Irish.
May your St. Patrick’s Day celebration be as enjoyable as the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations you’ve been attending for the past week.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to someone who finally has a reasonable explanation for being drunk at work on a Friday,
This St. Patrick’s Day, let’s discuss whether we’d rather sleep with Colin Farrell, Gabriel Byrne, or Bono before making out with someone who looks like Shane MacGowan.
I wish drinking green beer on St. Patrick’s Day wasn’t the closest you’ll come this year to eating a vegetable.
I’d appreciate it if you kissed me today even if it’s just based on my ethnicity.
Here’s to St. Patrick’s Day for reminding us there’s still something more horrifying than SantaCon.
There’s no gentle way to tell you that you’re the designated driver on St. Patrick’s Day.
It’s unfortunate that your inevitable attempt at an Irish jig this St. Patrick’s Day will likely bring our friendship to an end.
Until I met you, I didn’t know Jews could drink like Irishmen.
Let’s worship someone who possibly banished non-existent snakes from Ireland.
Just a heads up that by the end of St. Patrick’s Day I’ll be speaking like John Travolta.
I’M WEARING GREEN Now SO DON’T PINCH ME AGAIN.
Wishing Irish blessings for you and your family. May happiness never leave your side!
Sending lots of love and blessings to you on this St. Patrick’s Day. Have a safe one this year.
Wishing a happy St. Patrick’s Day to you and your loved ones. May you be showered with love!
Hope you receive the gentle touch of Irish luck and get blessed with prosperity. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Everything green is good for health and mind, like green vegetables and St. Patrick Day. Have a beautiful one this year.
May the petals of shamrock bring nothing but good luck for you and your loved ones.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Wishing you the luck of shamrock and the blessings of leprechauns!
Wish you a very happy St. Patrick’s Day. May you receive a pot of gold today equivalent to lots of love and blessings.
Let’s cheers our green bears and wish for a safe world this year. Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybody.
On this holiday, with my full heart, I am wishing you the luck of shamrock and the blessings of leprechauns. Enjoy this holiday.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the co-worker who is most likely to cover your shift while you sleep off your hangover from St. Patrick’s Day.
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